Do you remember how nervous you were on your first date? Was it bravado or bluster that got you through it?
Being scared silly of rejection isn’t just for the under 21’s. Fear is a constant, it’s how you react to it that’s key. “Brave People” are the ones that get on with it, they decide that fear is too heavy, they go on dates, put their focus on other people and have a bit of fun. Going on dates is a confidence booster if you have the right tools.
Dating just for fun, lose your fear, don’t expect too much too soon. Be curious about your date; think of all the other experiences you have had, (some good some bad) think of what you might be missing if you don’t enter the dating arena.
Confidence isn’t just about being good looking, smooth or intelligent. It’s about having a belief system; just believing you are confident is the first step in achieving confidence. Try out the following (it works)
- Firm Handshake (Females Included) don’t crush it or touch it too lightly. A hand held out in friendship sends a message to the recipient. It tells them you are engaging, unafraid, an equal. It works in both a business and personal setting.
- Make eye contact. Eyes are the windows to the soul, what a great cliché. Willingness to meet someone else’s gaze puts you on an equal footing.
- Stand tall, posture counts, a straight back denotes purpose and strength.
- Smile, it convinces people that you are healthy and happy. Frowning is ageing!
- Let conversation happen naturally. If there’s something interesting in a story that your dating partner is telling you, follow that thread. Work, kids and holidays are fine, but let your conversation wander. There are no wrong avenues to go down.
It’s okay to feel apprehensive on your first date, make sure the adrenalin rush works for you, it is more than likely you have been in this situation before, and survived, what’s the worst thing that can happen? Confidence is that quiet inner voice that controls the more obvious outer show.
Doubt is a natural and valuable tool for human survival, but in the world of online dating, it can only hold you back. Whilst it’s true that not every date will play out like the mid-act revelation in a romantic comedy, by putting yourself out there and having the confidence to be yourself, you’ll come to realise that mature dating isn’t about being the fastest, the funniest or the smartest, it’s about being yourself and being confident enough to utilise that to your advantage.