Whatever your reasons might be for being back on the market, mature dating can be a fun and fabulous way to meet new people, laugh a lot, learn even more about yourself and even meet ‘The One’.
However, through our years of helping over 60 daters meet and fall in love, we’ve seen the same mistakes made over and over again. Strangely, there seems to be a common range of nasty schoolyard habits rearing their ugly heads. It seems that despite the fact our advancing years, we’re still liable to acting like children from time to time.
We’re all experienced mature men and women entering the dating world with a great sense of optimism and an open heart, so why play the silly head games? Surely if we’re older women and men dating at midlife we can have the decency to treat one another with respect and be upfront about our feelings and intentions?
Here are the top five dating mistakes that mature men and women are making; make sure you are not playing the hurt game with other people’s hearts.
- Playing hot and cold. Not cool! If you like your date, let them know; if you don’t, let them know! It’s extremely frustrating having someone who wants to hold your hand, texts you constantly, calls frequently, gazes longingly into your eyes…and then disappears. I don’t know what’s worse; disappearing completely or reappearing with a feeble excuse only to repeat again. Consistency is key to a mature relationship, but if you change your mind and decide you don’t want to see them anymore – be honest and let them move on with their life so that they can find someone who does want to be with them.
- Relishing in the attention. Aha, it feels good to be wanted, especially when you re-enter the dating scene after a bereavement, separation or divorce. The confidence boost you receive from fellow singles is a feel-good emotion that can be addictive, yet detrimental to potential partners. Never lead someone on knowing that you’re not interested just because they stroke your ego and make you feel better about yourself, it’s cruel and you’re playing a dangerous game.
- Liar, liar pants on fire. Pretending to your date that you’re someone else, whether it’s age, family status, job, interests – it’s disappointing when the other half finds out the truth, and can really damage that person sense of trust. Don’t lie to your potential partners. Lies can only get you so far and be starting a relationship on lies is not a good start. Be honest with yourself and your date.
- Making empty promises. If you say you’re going to call; call. It’s incredibly rude and frustrating hearing potential partner talk the talk but never walk the walk. Actions speak louder than words so make sure yours are true and always be considerate to the other person.
- Playing the jealousy game. This may have worked for you in high school, but boasting about the other people you are seeing to get a reaction is insensitive and immature. Granted, if you are both using online dating you are both probably testing the water and dating any number of people; this, however, does not need to be discussed.
So if you recognise any of these foolish tendencies, perhaps it’s time to grow up and stop your game playing. We all deserve to love a second time around and no one deserves to go through that adolescent rubbish again, especially when it comes to breaking up. Give yourself and others a chance, and recognise when someone is playing you.