There are some things in life which are deceptively difficult to get right. Birthday presents, movie choices and the right pair of glasses, to name just a few.
It’s the same in dating too, especially in the modern era. These days we’re a little more aware of the impact of our words and actions than we once were, and although you don’t need to be treading on eggshells, there are ways you can approach dating which improve your chances of avoiding accidental insult.
One of the trickier aspects of the earlier stages of dating is knowing how to compliment your opposite number. Of course, all compliments are well-meaning, but it’s far easier than you might think to accidentally make your date uncomfortable, especially in your opening message.
So, how do you offer a compliment? Here are our top tips:
Avoid complimenting their body
Look, it’s almost impossible not to draw opinions on the physical attractiveness of your date. That’s obvious. However, by making an effort to complement their physical beauty you’re simply drawing attention to a few things:
A) That you’ve been analysing their body
B) That you foreground physical attractiveness
Many people are uncomfortable with their bodies, especially as over 50 daters, and so placing them on the back foot with a comment on their weight or figure is a huge no-no.
Try complimenting their choices
With compliments about their body out of the window, what’s left? Well, plenty. One excellent route for complimenting your date is to compliment them on their choices instead. Remember, while nobody chooses to have a great rear-end or beautiful eyes, they did choose what they’re wearing, their hairstyle or their meal.
By complimenting your date on their choices, you not only compliment them on something they have control over but open up a dialogue which leads to fun, flowing conversation.
Follow their lead
Learning to read body language is a valuable trait, especially in dating, but you don’t need to be an expert to see when your compliments aren’t landing as they should.
Whether you missed the mark with your compliment or your date simply doesn’t enjoy being complimented, you need to know when to retreat and try a different tact.
Simply pushing on with the unwanted compliments or getting frustrated that they’re not being taken in the spirit in which they’re intended isn’t the way to go.
On the other hand, if your date responds positively to your compliment, don’t be afraid to sprinkle in a few more well-chosen compliments in – just don’t go overboard.
Compliment their accomplishments
Online dating profiles are terrific for more than a handful of reasons, but when you’re out on a date, they’re most helpful when you’re looking for something to talk about.
With a huge amount of information on the average dating profile, you’ve got the ammunition to compliment your date on their accomplishments – something which always goes down well.
Don’t expect one in return
Before we wrap up, we should make just one more point: when you give a compliment, you shouldn’t expect one in return.
Compliments are at their most beautiful when they’re given without expectation, so give them, accept their thank you with a smile and move on. If one comes back at you, great! If not, don’t sweat it, let the compliments flow naturally.