For centuries the older man has paraded his younger female lover proudly with hardly a bat of an eyelid, whilst a mature woman caught with a youthful man was seen as taboo. Not anymore. Times have changed and it is becoming more and more acceptable for women to date out of their age group and bask in the fountain of the youthful man!
Despite it being more popular for older women to date younger men, many mature females still feel guilty about having a relationship with a partner their junior, but why?
Some women feel silly being seen publicly with a younger gentleman, worried that they may get mistaken for mother and son. Others cringe at the term Cougar and feel like they’re being judged. There are many reasons that women fear dating a younger man, but in today’s society it is not only becoming more common, it’s being encouraged by mature women around the globe to try a younger model.
Nevertheless, there’s pros and cons to older women dating younger men which should be considered before you start a relationship with one.
Probably the most widely discussed topic; sex with the younger man. The common belief is that younger men are attracted to older women (and vice versa) because of the steamy bedroom action. As smutty as it may sound, there is truth behind this.
Women reach their sexual peak in their thirties and forties whereas men hit theirs in their twenties. Sexual desires are perfectly matched and the younger man provides his lady with a copious amount of stamina as well as an eagerness to please. Men find the mature woman sexually attractive due to her years of experience, confidence and knowing exactly what she wants both in and out of the bedroom.
A younger man is more likely to surprise his older lady friend with fun date ideas. He can show you another lifestyle entirely, take you to places you wouldn’t usually go, experience things you wouldn’t typically try. Younger men want to impress their older woman and in turn, this will take years off you. You’ll be glowing next to him!
However, the downfall of his alternative lifestyle could potentially be that you don’t share similar interests. For example, he may enjoy clubbing until the early hours, but you’d prefer to snuggle up with a bottle of wine. He could love going to rock concerts whilst you enjoy classical. The age gap brings with it a number of differences in preferences.
Some couples are able to compromise and can make a relationship work by allotting personal time to one another to do the things that they enjoy separately. If you can find a few things that you enjoy doing together, your relationship has a good chance of lasting the long haul.
Younger men tend to not have as much baggage as us or our ex-partners. This can be positive as he is not tainted with traumatic past experiences or children and you can enjoy a clean slate relationship. However, young men who are inexperienced in relationships can be hard work as they often lack the skills needed to succeed as a partner and it can sometimes feel as though you are ‘training’ them. Patience is required for the young lover, and the mature lady must be wary of becoming the dominant, mother figure in the relationship if she wants to be an equal partner.
The younger man dating the older woman typically believes he is safe from the harassment of commitment. Younger men think that older women have their life sorted, and thus are not looking to tie them down. This is not all young men, of course, but in general, this is the mindset. If you are an older woman who is looking for a committed relationship with a younger suitor, be careful. Younger men are not emotionally mature enough to settle down so be clear with yourself about your expectations so that you do not get hurt. If however, you are a mature woman seeking a no-strings-attached relationship, younger men are definitely a fun alternative to the older gentleman.
Furthermore, if you’re a mature woman seeking to start a family with a younger man; be warned. As previously mentioned, most younger men are not mature enough to commit, and children certainly are not an exception. We, women, have a ticking clock to consider, the opposite sex does not. Especially the younger variety so carefully consider your own wants and needs before starting a relationship with a younger man.
Dating a younger man can lead to a power play when it comes to careers. As a mature woman, you are likely successful in your job role and life, you’ve worked hard to get where you and you’re proud of it. Go you! But your younger partner may find your status intimidating and may feel challenged by your achievements. Men like to be the hunter-gatherer, and thus he may feel threatened by your accomplishments.
On the flipside, your younger gent may very well cosy up to the idea of being your toy-boy and take advantage of your wealth and status. Just as there are money-digging young ladies out there, the same goes for young men. Be careful that your relationship with your younger friend doesn’t turn into you being his sugar mother!
So, are you allowed to date a younger man? YES! If you have feelings for him and he is worthy of you then great, have fun, date away and enjoy yourselves. At the end of the day, it’s not about what other people think or say, it’s not about him, it’s about you and only you. Age is just a number, though the bigger the gap, the more differences and difficulties you will inevitably face. Just be sure about your expectations and what it is exactly what you’re looking for, never settle for less and love YOU!