Learning from that Disastrous Date

how to get over

It’s happened to all of us. We spend all day in tight anticipation, get ourselves ready and head out of the door, only to endure one of the most disastrous dates of our life.

Though we might associate these dates with our younger days, they’re still a common occurrence even as move into over fifty dating and beyond.

A disastrous date can feel like a soul-destroying event. It can make you feel like you have misread signals, not done your homework and that maybe you really can’t pick the right person for you.

The best thing to do when you have had a bad date is put it down to experience and try to see the funny side. It might be easier said than done, but there are many things you can learn from a dodgy date and not repeating the mistakes you made is probably the best thing you can learn from any bad experience.

You now know what you don’t want

Whether it is their looks, their personality, the way they dressed or the place they took you to, you are now aware of what didn’t like about the date and will be able to avoid it in the future. In fact, as you go on more and more dates, you will start to formulate a list which will detail the things you really enjoyed, what worked and what didn’t. Before you know it you will have narrowed down to the right person and circumstances for success.

You have learned a lesson about safety

It is easy to let yourself feel too relaxed around someone. If you have chatted with them online and on the phone, you might think that you know them pretty well. However, being cautious is important until at least two or three dates in. If your date has turned out to be less than chivalrous and has made you feel uncomfortable you will have learned to take note of safety advice and to keep your future dates more public.

 You now know what good topics of conversation are

Whether you or your date has disclosed too much, doing so can lead to big problems. Sometimes it is best to be circumspect at least for a little while. You date doesn’t want to know about your previous relationships straight away, they don’t want to be bombarded with a chat about your kids all night or the fact that you had a bikini wax… Next time keep the magic alive just for a little while and save all of this chat for future dates.

You know that first dates and too much alcohol don’t mix

If on your first date you have gotten really drunk, fallen over, been sick or said things you wish you hadn’t, you are unlikely to get that all important second call. Stick to one or two drinks to relax you, but don’t go overboard. If you date is a heavy drinker, it is a really bad sign. They should be on their best behaviour. Maybe try meeting for coffee next time…

Bad dates are just a way of learning life’s lessons. They happen to all of us and are not an excuse for staying home and never trying again. Just pick yourself up, get back online and try to find the next experiment – it might just be worth your while.

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