Trust is central to every important relationship in our lives and learning to trust someone after you have been through betrayal can be difficult. This doesn’t mean it isn’t possible, but it may take a little time and a lot of healing to build a relationship with someone new.
If you’re over 50 dating after cheating caused your relationship to break down then it’s important to take things slowly. Move gradually into a newer and healthier relationship when you’re ready and not before.
We have brought together the best advice for embarking on a new partnership after infidelity, below.
Try to forgive even when you can’t forget
Negative emotions have a way of growing inside us and holding on to feelings of hate or anger can cause us more harm than the person they are aimed at. This can be particularly difficult when you have been in a relationship for a long time and are embarking on older dating. You shouldn’t forget what you have been through but if you have lingering feelings of resentment then it might not be time to date again just yet.
Don’t project feelings about past partners onto your date
We are hardwired to draw comparisons and it’s all too easy to overlay the behaviours and patterns of previous partners onto a brand-new person. At over 50 dating you may think you have seen it all but it’s important to give a new date a chance to prove who they really are. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t trust your instincts or ignore bad behaviour but try to avoid making snap judgements.
Get a handle on your insecurity
Insecurity is a completely normal product of suffering through infidelity. It can cause you to feel less confident than usual, question your attractiveness or even that you deserve to be happy at all. Insecurity can eat away at relationships and it’s important to recognise insecurity in yourself and try to work through it. If you are struggling to deal with the after effects of infidelity then it may be useful to seek out professional counselling.
Look for someone outside of your usual type
Dating outside of your usual type can be a really refreshing way to embark on older dating and can help minimise comparisons with a less than perfect ex. You have probably changed since you dated last time around so it makes sense that your perfect partner will have shifted as well. Maybe you won’t find the right person for a long-term relationship but you could just discover something about yourself and have a lot of fun meeting different people. Dating like this can improve your social skills and your confidence, making you better prepared to meet your ‘one’.
Infidelity is a hard, lonely experience to go through. It can feel unbearable at the time but inevitably makes us stronger and normally, in the long run, happier.