Of all the games that we play during courtship, there are few as divisive as playing ‘hard to get’.
It’s the art of making yourself seem just that touch unattainable, suggesting that whilst your prospective partner might find getting other people easy, but you won’t be the same. It’s designed to inspire greater passion and test the resolve of your potential partner, weeding out time wasters.
Whether it actually works or not is a question for another day, but the real question is should you still be trying to play hard to get when you’re over 50?
As mature daters, we can often feel as though our time is running out on our dating lives. It’s not true, of course, because we’ve got decades ahead of us, but nonetheless, that sense that the clock is ticking is a real one.
So, should you be wasting time pushing the limits of patience amongst interested parties, or should you get right down to it? That choice is, ultimately, yours, but for our money, we’d say that it’s best avoided. Here’s why:
Most People Hate It
Take a moment and search your favourite social network for ‘hard to get’ and you’ll find scores of people tired of people trying to play games with them. It’s something that Cosmo recently covered, too.
Although it can be useful when trying to weed out individuals just looking to hop into bed for an evening, pushing earnest people away just causes irritation amongst the wider population. It’s a fact, no matter your age.
You Risk Pushing Nervous People Away
When you’re interested in somebody online, you reach out and get in touch. Those first messages are nerve-wracking as you scope out whether they have any interest in you – especially if you’re somebody who lacks in confidence.
By playing things too cool you run the risk of pushing people away who might be perfect for you as they retreat from what they perceive to be a disinterested party. Be open and be honest with people and you’ll find they do the same.
It Can Be Seen as Immature
Whatever your personal opinion on playing hard to get might be, you need to contend with the fact that many people see that sort of game playing as immature.
As we age, we all grow that little bit more assured within ourselves and that little bit more confident in knowing what we want and how to get it. To start talking with somebody who’s less interested in you as a person than they are testing how far you’ll chase them.
In the words of one dater, “I was fine with it [playing hard to get]. Because it let me know right away that she was not mature enough to be in a relationship”.
So, should you be trying to play hard to get online as a mature older dater? We’ll leave it up to you to decide.