The dating scene can often feel like a dimly lit path through a tangled forest – there’s a way through, but it’s plenty easy to get lost.
That’s never truer than when it comes to dating over 50. Despite many of us coming out of relationships that we held together for years (and sometimes decades), the thought of getting in a new one can be daunting to say the least.
It’s for that reason that we need guiding lights on our path to love, the people who’ve walked the dim path and found the joy on the other side. Their advice can be invaluable, which is why we’ve pulled together three voices from across the over 50 dating worlds – including a few who found love on this very website – to share their top tips and experiences. Here’s what they said:
“Keep your mind open at all times” – Mary, 57
“Unlike lots of my friends, I didn’t find that I felt any less attractive as I got older, but I did feel like I was less open to new experiences than I was when I was younger.
At 50, I thought I knew everything about everyone. Been there, done that, I thought. So when it came to dating, I was stuck in an impossible rut – convinced that there was only one type of man for me.
It took me two years to break down the wall and give other men a shot. I found my future husband within six months. He’s so unlike me, so relaxed and comfortable in his own skin, but we’re perfect together. My advice? Keep your mind open at all times, don’t waste years like I did.”
“Know you can’t change people” – Oliver, 60
“I broke up with my wife of 30 years when I was 55. At that point, I’d been married for longer than I ever was single, let alone active in the dating scene.
We found that issues in relationships are like rubbing shoes, they’re never an issue until you wear them too long and tears start to form. I found that you can’t change people, but whilst that first felt like a crushing revelation, I realised it was a gift. If you know you can’t change people, you can release the frustration and embrace who they are”
“Cast a wide net” – Val, 51
“I wasted so much time telling myself that online dating was for weirdos that I wish I could go back in time and shake myself into sense.
Being an over 50 dater isn’t easy, and by clinging on to my embarrassment around online dating I threw away years when I could have been dating, laughing and loving. I learned from my mistake and now I’m something of an advocate for online dating (just as my friends, who’ve never heard the end of it). Cast a wide net and find love faster”